


Black Envelope

by chanbaeknim



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8314873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanbaeknim/pseuds/chanbaeknim
Summary: A love letter? Who would send a love letter in a black envelope?





	

 

**FINAL**

**_"Within_ ** _**you,**_ _I **lose** **myself.** **Without** **you,**  I  **find myself wanting to be lost again."**  _

 

 

Baekhyun was strolling at his school's hallway on his way to his locker. It was mid March, a week and a half since March started. He was looking for a certain giant but he didn't even saw his reflection. The sky was gloomy and he doesn't know why.

 After a while of searching for a big tall idiot, he decided to go to his locker since it was his purpose why he went out to the hallway.

 He then reached his destination. He punched his locker's pass code which is 0-6-2-7. It was his and his best friend’s birthdates.

 He opened his locker's door and a black colored envelope fell. He got curious so he picked up the said envelope and flipped it.

 He saw the words, _To the light of my life: Byun Baekhyun._

 Maybe it was a love letter? Who would send a love letter in a black envelope?

 The envelope screamed threat but still he opened it. He saw a white painted paper with hearts on the sides. He then started to read the said words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Having the ability to look, care and admire you from afar is enough."_

 

He was harboring feelings for Baekhyun for a while now. But he can't have the courage to confess to the other. It was like facing your biggest fears. 

 And yes, he was afraid. Afraid that other would not reciprocate his feelings. But who knows? 

 He was stuck as the other's best friend. He was contented by that. There he saw the love of his life playing soccer. The latter was already drenched in sweat but still he was the most beautiful thing he saw. Then a timeout was called. 

 Baekhyun went to him and he handed him a towel.

 "Good game Baek!" He said showing the other his perfect line of teeth.

 "Thanks Yeol!" Baekhyun said as he drank water from a bottle.

 "Are you okay? Can you breathe properly? What if your asthma attacks again? I told you to just play if the game is already ending."

 "Nah Don't worry I'm fine. I have back-up. I have been playing for only 10 minutes Yeol. You know it just occurs seldom right? And please don't be so loud coach will kick me out." Baekhyun said as he raised his inhaler. And placed his finger on his lips. 

"What am I going to do with you Byun Baekhyun? I might die here in worry." He said as he ruffled his hair and sighed.

"Don't worry my dear best friend. I'll be fine." He said as the latter ran and continued to play. 

Heart racing and almost breaking. Oh how much he wants to be more than a best friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"For all I know was just look at you. You were the only thing I see."_

 

Chanyeol was contented on what he has now. He was still thankful that the brunette was close to him. He was so close yet so far. 

He was waiting for his best friend to come. They were supposed to eat lunch together. He wishes that Baekhyun will not run, he was worried that the brunette might get out of breath and his asthma will act again. The reason why he told the other to stop playing soccer or even practicing every Saturday. But he keeps on telling he can handle everything. 

The door of the rooftop suddenly opened. Revealing a panting Baekhyun holding his backpack. He held the door frame for support.

"Y-Yeol."

"Baek! Are you okay? Can you breathe? Answer me!"

"I-I'm fine." He said between pants, trying to catch his breath.

"Fuck!" Chanyeol cursed loudly as he pushed himself up coming to aid the almost out of breath Baekhyun.

He was holding his chest tightly. Some tears were evident in his eyes. This is what he fears. Baekhyun's asthma doesn't come frequently but when it does its terrifying.

"You aren't fine! Where is your inhaler? Oh god Baek."

"B-Bag." He then let Baekhyun sit on the floor. It was a relief that it’s windy up in the rooftop.

He rummaged through Baekhyun's bag and found the said inhaler. He opened it and let Baekhyun breathe in the medicine. Not long after that his breathing came back to normal.

"What did you do?" Chanyeol breaks the silence.

"What did I do?" 

"Baekhyun!"

"Okay okay calm down Yeol." The brunette said trying to make the other's blood cool down a little.

"Spill."

 "Okay so after I got out of hell like class of history, I saw Mr. Kim and he made me run some errands. Then Kyungsoo asked me to give some musical sheets to the choir's pianist then a few more things after that I ran here. And add the fucking heat."

"I told you know how to say no or just make an excuse so that they'll not order you around. See? Look what happened to you!" Chanyeol said as he rubs his temples showing that he's having a headache.

"Just don't mind that, I'm fine." Baekhyun said smiling, his eyes not turning into crescents. 

"You always say that." 

"I know that-"

"I'm worried about your health. So please don't take any orders if you can't anymore." Chanyeol said as his eyes softened.

The later just smiled and nodded at him cutely, his eyes forming into crescents. It made his heart skip a thousand beats and make him want to kiss Baekhyun's lips. But he just shrugged it away. 

"So are we still eating lunch?" Baekhyun said as he eyed the lunch boxes placed near Chanyeol's side.

"Of course! I exerted effort making this for you and you'll not eat it?"

Baekhyun laughed and grabbed the lunchboxes as he felt the growling of his tummy. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Look at me. Just once. I will not wish for anything at all."_

 

 

As Baekhyun went to the bench where his things are, he grabbed a water bottle, drank it and poured it all over himself. Another practice wrapped up, tiring but worth it. If Chanyeol will know that he practiced until his lungs come out, he'll scold him again. Baekhyun just laughed. He's thankful he has a friend like Chanyeol. Very caring and thoughtful, a perfect brother and best friend material. 

"Baekhyun!"

He searched for the voice that is calling for him. It was Luhan, the soccer team's captain. The blonde female-like male went to his direction and talked. 

"Hey Baek!" The blonde waved at him. What a cutie.

"Hey Lu! Why are you looking for me?"

"The team members suggested that we go out tonight for a little bonding time. Want to join?" 

"Sure!"

 

_So lucky to have you_

_So lucky to be your love_

_I am_

_Hmmm..._

He opened his eyes as he blurted out the last lines of the song he picked. He heard claps and screams.

"I didn't know that you have an incredible voice. Wow that was amazing!" Minseok, the team's vice captain said.

His cheeks shaded a color of red. It was the first time he sang in front of  an audience. It was always his plushies or Chanyeol. The other team members started to get wasted with alcoholic drinks. But all he drank was a cup of orange juice. 

As the night went by, hours passed and they decided to go home at 11:00 in the evening. The others walked sluggishly, the effect of drinking and went home. As he was waiting for the bus to come. He fumbled with his bag and held his phone. He decided to turn it off a while ago to avoid distraction from the fun that he experienced. He pressed the power button as he saw his phone lit to life. He saw 25 missed calls from Chanyeol. His eyebrows wiggled in a cute manner as he tried to think why Chanyeol called him. To answer his confusion he opened his inbox and saw 15 messages from Chanyeol. 

 

November 27, 5:00 pm

Hey Baek. You near?

 

November 27, 5:30 pm

You never got late. I guess you're busy today? I'll still wait for you.

 

November 27, 7:00 pm

Ummm.. Baek?

 

November 27, 7:30 pm

Baekhyun where are you? Why are you not answering? I'm worried. 

 

November 27, 8:00 pm

Fuck I don't care if we don't celebrate my birthday anymore. Just tell me you're safe.

 

November 27, 8:30 pm

Please Baekhyun.

 

November 27, 9:00 pm

Baekhyun.

 

 

Damn was all that came out from Baekhyun's mouth. He was an idiot to forget his best friend’s birthday.

 He decides to call Chanyeol to say sorry. He was extremely guilty.

 "Hello."

  _"Baek! Where have you been? I was worried."_

 "I'm sorr-"

  _"Nah its fine. I went home already since I knew you would not come anymore."_  

"I-I-"

_"Don't worry Mom and I celebrated it already. Maybe let’s hang out tomorrow if you don't have practice._  

"I have-" 

_"Oh._ A laugh.  _Okay. So see you when you're free?"_  

"Yes."

_"Okay."_  

"Happy-" 

Then the line went dead. Baekhyun was left there guilty.

 

 

Chanyeol sighed as he pressed the end button. All the food that he prepared is all cold now. It was all useless. Yes, he lied. He waited for Baekhyun in the park for a very long time. Hoping that the other might show off somewhere down the lonely darkness. But there was none. 

He picked up all the things he prepared and put them in his car. All he could do was sigh. He doesn't want to cry. He kept it in. But stupid tears still fell. Chanyeol just let it go. The tears of one of his heartbreaks.

 

 

 

 

 

_"I tried to stop thinking of you and caring for you. But why do I still care?"_

 

 

A week after Chanyeol’s forgotten birthday, the giant avoided the brunet. The brunet knew the reason why and he was guilty. But he was hesitant and putting their friendship in danger.  When he makes his mind and finally approaches the giant, something bubbles inside of him and he retreats.

Just like one time when he saw Chanyeol at the garden happily chatting with Jongin.

He was behind a tree, hiding. Heart thumping and ready to say sorry. Chanyeol is a bright guy, that you would not make him upset. His smiles are very bright that you would miss it when it’s gone. His friend is like a brother to him that he treasures very much.

He doesn't know why he went to a direction that is opposite to Chanyeol's direction. He doesn't know why the brave Baekhyun is hiding and shy.

Chanyeol side-eyed Baekhyun's retreating back as he talks with Jongin.

"Chan why don't you talk to him?"

"I just. I don't know. I need some space."

"Why?"

"Jong I want to make my feelings disappear."

 "But you loved him for 6 years now and still loving him. Why let him go?"

"I don't know. I just can't put our long time friendship in danger. I just can't."

  "Do what suits you best buddy."

 

 

 

 

"Ok class that's all for now. But don't forget to pass your project! Its due is next week."

The room erupted with different reactions. Some groaned for they were pull with school works. But some just said yes because that's just what they need to do, obey.

It was the last subject for the day so he decides to go home _alone._ He picked up his bag and turned to the door. His eyes widen like plates. He saw the guy that he keeps on thinking of and been avoiding for two weeks and a half now. 

"C-Chan?" 

Chanyeol swore he saw Baekhyun's eyes glisten with unshed tears. It was his weakness, seeing Baekhyun cry. The brunet took a few steps and he was near from Chanyeol. His head was hanged low.

"C-Chanyeol I'm so sorry."

Chanyeol held his hand in the air. Attempting to hold the latter's face. But he retrieved it back, he must keep his feelings at all cost. 

Baekhyun now raised his head looking at Chanyeol's brown orbs. Tears flowing down his gorgeous face.

"I know me forgetting your birthday is not just the reason why you avoided me. Whatever it is I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Chanyeol let his heart do what it says. He pulled Baekhyun in his arms and has a secured hold at his waist. Baekhyun keeps on repeating I'm sorry. Chanyeol pats his back but not removing his hold.

"I'm sorry too Baek. Let’s just think that this never happened."

Baekhyun nodded his head. He placed his head on Chanyeol's shoulder and put his arms on his neck.

"I missed my dork best friend." Baekhyun said between sobs. 

"Yes your dork _best friend_." Chanyeol said between shattering hearts.

 

 

  
  


         

 

 

 

 

_"Love is foolish don't you think? It will make you fall hard but didn't even placed a cushion to lessen the impact_   "

 

Months passed and it was Valentine's day. Oh how a dreadful day. It was all hearts and happy things. And he hates that he's dying in envy. A Valentine's ball would be held later at 8:00 sharp in the evening. And he just wants to sit on the couch and watch sick dramas. But his mother insisted that he needs to go. She even bought a tuxedo for him. _Fuck my life._ He thought as his mother showed him his tuxedo.

 

Yoora was jumpy and excited. She even took pictures. _Fuck_

 

It was 7:30 and Yoora is fixing his hair. He can't complain his whole family insisted. He sighed.

 

"There you go! My little brother you look awesome!" As she raised a good sign with her hands.

 

Chanyeol just nodded and walked to the door.

 

"Have fun Chanyeollie! When you go home go on and tell me everything!"

 

When he arrived at the venue, he was amazed at how good it looked . Somehow something tells him that there is something that will make him happy today. 

 

He entered and he saw an ocean of people that he doesn't know. Girls wore magnificent gowns. He's sure there would be a fight later of who has the most beautiful gown.

 

He felt a tug on his sleeves. He turned his head to its direction. And there he saw the light of his life Byun Baekhyun gorgeous as ever. It made his mouth wide open. Chanyeol thinks that he was the most beautiful person he saw in this party.

 

"Chan close your mouth." Baekhyun laughed and he held Chanyeol's mouth and closed it.

 

"Baek."

  

"Yes?"

 

_"You look so beautiful."_ The brunet's eyes widen, embarrassed.

 

"I am a guy. I should be handsome." He said as he pouted. 

  

"Think what you like Baek." Chanyeol said smiling, his cheeks are a shade of crimson now. Good thing the room is dim. 

 

 

 Hours pass with laughter and food. As the small program ended the music was on and all they did was dance. The beats are fast that you would really get to it and dance till your heart's content. And all Park Chanyeol did was sit. He was seated alone while the others are dancing and partying. He's not a party goer. He doesn't care if some girls are asking him. 

 

If a girl asks him, he just looks at her. And then she walks away, rolling her eyes. All he wanted was to go home. But the students are allowed to go home at 10:00. _Damn it._ He's bored as hell.

 The song changed and it was a love song. It’s time for slow dancing. His heart tells him to go to that person that lights his life the most. But his brain tells him no. He follows what his brain tells him. He just sat there, looked at the way others danced enviously.

 

He felt a poke at the side of his face. It was Byun Baekhyun again. The brunet sat beside him.

  

"What's with the long face?" Chanyeol just shrugged.

 

"Why don't you dance?"

 

"Not in the mood."

 

 "Oh come on Chanyeol. Don't be such a grumpy puppy. Let’s dance!" Baekhyun said as he pulled Chanyeol to the dance floor.

 

 "Baek you know that I don't dance." Chanyeol said as he looked directly to Baekhyun's dazzling eyes.

 

 "It’s simple. Just follow me." Baekhyun said as he placed Chanyeol's hand on his waist and his hand on Chanyeol's shoulder. With his free hand he held Chanyeol's right hand.

 

It was a perfect fit. The brunet fitted with his large frame. They started to waltz. Chanyeol the lanky giant he is, was awkward at first. It made Baekhyun giggle. _What a cute sound._ He thought.

He then started to know how to and he was the one who maneuvered them. Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun's orbs as they danced to the slow song. Regardless how slow the song is, the beating of Chanyeol's heart was the opposite. Oh how beautiful Baekhyun looked as dim lights bask his being. Oh how Chanyeol wants to hold him forever. 

The latter smiled at him, his eyes turning into twinkling crescents. Baekhyun was the only thing he saw. Everything of him was gorgeous. Chanyeol is scared. He's falling deep. Deeper in the vast ocean of _love._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"You were busy looking at him that you can't even notice my unknown stares."_

 

 

Chanyeol doesn't know why Baekhyun suddenly asked him to go to the garden after his last subject. Something in his heart is hoping that maybe- _Tsk. As if._ He told himself as he walked to the path leading to the garden.

He saw Baekhyun talking with a guy that he has never seen in his life. They were happily chatting. That it made him jealous. But who was he to get jealous? He's just a best friend. Just that no crossing the lines. 

 

"Oh there he is! Hi Chanyeol!"  The brunet happily greeted him, letting him see his cute eye smiles again.

 

Chanyeol just waved at them. He walked closer.

 

"Why did you called me Baek? And who's this?" Chanyeol said as he tried to control his facial expression. He was dying in jealousy inside.

 

"You okay Yeol? You seem pissed off." Baekhyun said, worried.

  

"Yeah." 

 

"Okay. The reason why I called you here is because I want you to meet Chen. He's my friend from elementary. And now he's here so I want you to be friends with him too." Baekhyun smiled.

 

  _As if I want to be friends with the douche bag._

 

_Be nice Yeol. Try to be nice._

 

 "Hi Chanyeol!" Chen said as he held out his hand.

 

"Yeah Hi." Chanyeol said, unhappy. But still accepted the hand and shook it.

 

"Nice to meet you." He said.

 

 He swore he saw Chen smirk at him. As if he's challenging Chanyeol in an unknown battle.

 

"I better go now. Bye Baek and Chanyeol. See you!" He said as he ran off to he-doesn't-care-where-place. 

 

"So do you like him?" 

 

"Kinda. _Of course he lied_ Why did you let me meet him though?" He said confused.

 

The brunet looked down. Chanyeol sensed something and it was not good.

 

"I-I want my best friend to meet my crush!" Baekhyun said as he raised his head. Cheeks are rosy red.

 

Chanyeol eyes widened. _Ouch_ His broken heart was now turned into aching bits.

 

"Wow haha. I guess good luck?" He said as he held Baekhyun's shoulder shakingly. He somehow managed to show a crooked smile. He was holding his tears in. And he was doing a good job.

 

"Do you think he likes me too? He's been taking me out on dates these days." The brunet said completely oblivious to the fact that every word where stepping on his fragile, broken heart.

 

 "I think so."

 

 And after one week, his best friend came to him jumping. It was the most dreadful news he knew. Baekhyun confessed and he's dating Chen.

 

 He cried himself to sleep. As he succumbed into self pity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"I don't want this anymore. Maybe its time to let you go."_

  

He stopped crying himself to sleep now. He told himself crying can't help him. Crying can't make him have Baekhyun's heart. 

  

He drank his fifth cup with a sigh. He looks helpless and hopeless. The booming music of the club was almost breaking his eardrums. Thousands of girls went his way _again._ He turned down their entire request to dance. All he wanted was to get wasted and try to run away from his problems for awhile. It was making him crazy. 

 

"One more please." He said in a drunken tone to the bartender. 

 

He was given another cup of liquor. Which 2was the strongest of the bunch. Does he even care? _No._

 

After finishing, (he stopped because he'll get very drunk that he can't drive anymore.) He fished out bills and drops them all on the marble counter of the bar. Not caring if he still has a change.

 

He drunkenly walked to his car and opened the door and put himself in it. He started the engine and drove home.

 

He doesn't know why tears kept on flowing down his cheeks. _It hurts. It fucking hurts so much. Dammit._

 

Seeing the brunet smile because of a man that is not him hurts like a bitch. He parked his car in front of their house, deciding that he'll put it in their garage tomorrow morning while dealing with hangover.

 

He went out of his car as he saw Chen and Baekhyun walking hand in hand. In the middle of the night? He doesn't know why.

 

His aura turned into anger as his drunken mind took over his body.

 

"Hey Baek!" He said as he wobbled to the disgustingly sweet _tsk_ couple

 

"Chanyeol?"

 

"Hi my dear beshfriend! Oh and there you are Dinosaur!" 

 

"Yeah. Haha Hi." Chen said. A little awkward.

 

"You little bitch. You take care of my best friend or else I'll give you this!" Without hesitation he punched Chen square in the face which made Chen drop to cold pavement.

 

"What the hell dude?!"

 

"Chen!"

 

Chanyeol just laughed, amazed of what he did. 

 

"If I hear Baekhyun crying because of you, you will receive much more than that! Get up! Are you weak?"

 

Chen immediately got up as he wiped the blood that was from his busted lip.

 

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Promise me you would never ever break my best friend’s heart. Count that punch as a blessing from the best friend."

 

He said as he ran back to his house.

 

_"Tell Chen I'm sorry. I was drunk I didn't know what I was thinking."_

 

_"Nah He already forgave you. Don't worry."_

 

_"Have a good day Baek. Take care."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"It hurts. My heart hurts because of you."_

 

 

He was now down to the bottom part of the letter as it was full of words that mean almost nothing. And Baekhyun doesn't even know who the hell sent him this letter.

 

He continued reading.

 

 

_I know that you would never notice me. You know Baek you are like the stars. You were so close yet so far. I tried to reach you but I can't. Your light was for someone else. I hope he accepts the light you shine like how much I want to. I hope he makes you happy like how I much I wanted to be the one who will make you smile. But I know this is the place for me. This is better than nothing. I know I am a burden so I better go away to the place where you can't find me nor anyone else. I hope by me leaving you would make you happy._

 

_Thank you for the happiness and sorrow that you have shared with me. I love you. I love you. I love you. If only I could tell this to you over and over again. But I can't. This is the end._

 

 

_Baek I love you. Thank you for being a part of my life._

 

_Your dear best friend,_

_Chanyeol_

 

 

As he saw the name at the end made his eyes wide like plates. 

 

_Where is he going?_

 

_Why is he leaving?_

 

_He's an idiot for not noticing._

 

Baekhyun sprinted to get out of the school. He needs to run after him. He doesn't care if he loses his breath. 

 

He hurried grabbed his phone and pressed no. 1. As he was waiting for Chanyeol to answer he kept on running. His heart rammed inside his chest.

 

No. He needs Chanyeol. He needs to see his infectious smile. He needs to feel his warmth like he always does by caring for him. He never showed him how much he was thankful.

 

Maybe the plan with Chen was wrong. A failure. He just wants the giant to get jealous and love him back. This wasn't he wanted. 

 

How is he suppose to tell him he loves him too if he's gone? Away?

 

Someone answered and hope creped in his heart. That it made tears flow down his porcelain cheeks. He stopped on his tracks.

 

"C-Chanyeol? Thank good-"

 

"Baekhyun." It was not the velvety rich voice of Chanyeol.

 

"W-Who is this?"

 

"Jongin." The voice sounded sad. What could have happened?

 

"Jongin where is Yeol? Can I talk to him please?"

 

"Baek." He took a lot of air before answering.

 

"Chanyeol's gone." 

 

"What gone? Please don't play jokes." Baekhyun said as more tears poured.

 

"He's dead. He committed suicide." 

 

_No._

 

Baekhyun stood there frozen as his phone slipped from his hands. And as if the sky was feeling his sorrow, drops of rain fell and covered his tears. He slumped to the cold ground. 

 

Cell phone cracked, body drenched in rain and a broken heart.

 

_I love you too Chanyeol._

 

 

  **END**  


 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yep I know it sucked. I'm still a newbie in writing so I'm sorry TT


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